How to improve your relationship with stakeholders

12 Sept

Introduction

A stakeholder is someone who has an interest (or vested stake) in decision making and activities within your organisation. I’m not a fan of the term, because it sounds rather grandiose and most stakeholders wouldn’t self identify as such. However, for want of a better term we will stick with it for this article.

What we do need to do though is recognise that stakeholders are people. Admittedly they’re not always directly involved in the action, like the team actually working on a product. But it’s important to recognise that all people have needs, motivations, preferences, and fears. It’s your job to understand your stakeholders on a human level (putting titles, teams and other things that create distance and disconnect away). It’s the only way you’re going to build great products and teams.

In this article I’m going to introduce you to DISC, which is an assessment (not a test!) of personality - so there is no wrong or bad answer. It gives you insights into how we communicate and behave, so it will help you build rapport with anybody you work with. It will also help you understand sources of conflict, and how to navigate these effectively. Let’s jump in!

What is DISC?

DISC is a personality profiling tool that originated in the work of psychologist Carl Jung, who looked at concepts of introversion / extraversion, archetypes and the collective unconscious. This inspired Dr William Marston to generate the DISC characteristics of emotions and behaviour of normal people (fun fact - he created the character Wonder Woman). However, the DISC model itself was developed by Walter V. Clarke, an industrial psychologist, who constructed an assessment based on Marston’s theoretical work, and used it in business hiring processes.

DISC itself is an acronym that stands for four preferred styles of communication:

Dominance (or Drive)
Influence (or Inspiring)
Steady (or Supportive)
Compliant (or Correct)

You may have come across these before as red, yellow, green and blue personality types - they all have the same origins.

DISC is based on two axes: one for introversion / extraversion, and another for people or task focus.

It’s important to note that we use all four styles in different scenarios and with different people. What DISC says is that we have a preferred style that dominates in most scenarios. An official DISC profile report will show you your preferred style in public (the mask), in private (the core) and how you perceive yourself (the mirror).

Let’s have a look at each style in more detail now.

Dominance or Direct

People with this preferred style appear forceful, as they are dominant, driven, direct and determined. They are very demanding - of themselves - and motivated by power and authority. They are competitive, strong willed and tend to find themselves in leadership positions in business. They are naturally goal-oriented, take action impulsively and get bored with the detail. They speak fast and don’t like small talk or fluffiness. They are also at risk of burnout and fear being taken advantage of or losing control. However, when you get a high-D onside, they are exceptionally loyal and open doors for you, including moving heaven and earth to support you.

Examples of a high-D include Hilary Clinton, Cher, Judge Judy.

Influence or Inspiring

People with this preferred style appear very friendly and engaging, as they are interested in people, influential, interactive, imaginative and impulsive. They need to be the star of the show and they often find themselves in selling roles. They are ‘touch activated’ - if you stand too close to one of them they’ll start talking to you! They love to tell a story, which may be slightly exaggerated. Motivated by praise and recognition, they will give encouragement and enthusiasm to every endeavour. They fear rejection and loss of popularity, and are known for being dramatic.

Examples of a high-I include Liza Minelli, Dolly Parton, Oprah Winfrey.

Steady or Supportive

People with this preferred style appear steady, stable, supportive, sensitive, and sentimental. They like to maintain the status quo as they are motivated by security, which means that they do not like sudden change. They are very people focused and have the biggest hearts (but never mistake kindness for weakness). Their communication style is supportive and friendly. They often put other people’s needs ahead of their own, sometimes to their own detriment. They do not need to be in the spotlight. They fear change or loss of security and are known for being stubborn and expressing passive resistance to change.

Examples of high-S include Mother Theresa, Princess Diana, Michelle Obama.

Compliant or Correct

People with this preferred style appear cautious, careful, correct and consistent. They love information and are motivated by systems and processes. They value organisation, structure and routine. They are also perfectionists, setting high standards for themselves and being critical of others if they fail to meet those standards. they fear criticism or not being correct, but are responsive to feedback so they can put it right. Their desire for accuracy means you may not get a decision until they have thoroughly researched it. In leadership they are detail oriented, focused on data, and may forget the human element (Many neuro-divergent people may present as C style).

Examples of high-C include Condoleezza Rice, Jacqueline Onassis Kennedy, Diane Sawyer.

So now you have an overview of how each preference style appears, let’s put this into action.

Ways of using DISC

Working with other people to build a product relies on having open, honest communication. But as we all have our own preferred style - and that style can vary depending on whether we are at work, at rest or under stress - we all benefit from having a greater appreciation of how we each like to communicate.

There’s a worthwhile exercise in listening out the next time you’re in conversation with your stakeholders to see what their preferred style is. How fast do they talk? What is their focus - people or task? How long is their written communication? See if you can identify which preference style your stakeholders have. You may find that the people you get along with best is because they share your preference, whilst the ones you have the most challenge with are your direct opposite, e.g. you’re Direct and they’re Steady.

DISC can help in many areas of communication: rapport building, coaching, decision making, conflict and preferred communication method. Being aware of what your own and someone else’s preference is means that you can adapt your communication style to meet their needs. And yes, if you are communicating a message, the responsibility is on YOU to communicate it in a way that they understand!

Here’s another couple of pointers to watch out for as you are communicating with the different styles.

(1) Task-people axis relates to what we prioritise:

Ds and Cs will value task and data over people and feelings (opposite for Is and Ss). That means if you’re communicating a roadmap, Ds and Cs will get it if it’s in a clear document, relate it to objectives and numbers, and express their thoughts (if it’s logical or not). Where they differ is a D will want top level information and a C will want all the detail behind it.
However, Is and Ss won’t read the roadmap in a document and instead will need to speak to you about it, relate it to teams and customers, and express their feelings on it (does it feel like the right thing to do? What are they concerned about?). Where these differ is that Is will welcome the changes (can they sell this yet?!) and Ss will be fearful around too much changing at once.

(2) Extraversion-introversion axis relates to our pace of communication:

Ds and Is will talk loud and fast, and interrupt you - Ds because they need you to get to the point quicker and cut the fluffiness, and Is because they have a story they want to share that relates to what you’re saying (with hands flailing as they express themselves)
However, Ss and Cs will be quieter, talk slower and be more considered in their response. Ss will listen to you intensely, because what you say matters to them. Cs will listen because their mind is whirring on the data already, and extracting every bit of information from what you say to help them problems solve.

Watch out for larger group meetings - it’s easy for Ds and Is to dominate in the public arena. If there are people there who are not saying anything it doesn’t mean they’re not engaged. S and C preferences will be absorbing what is being said and may come back to you afterwards with more thoughts. If you are facilitating you can establish rules to ensure that D and I preferences don’t dominate the conversation, and encourage contribution from S and C - they often have the most valuable things to say as they’ve been watching and listening to everything going on (plus C’s have all the data).

You may find senior leadership skewed to a particular preference - usually a strong mix of high Ds and Is. I’ve seen the communication disconnect between senior leadership and their teams because they don’t understand how each other prefers to communicate. Leadership needs short, to the point updates, whilst teams need more detail and understanding behind decisions. In this case practice speaking up and sharing your point succinctly. You can also leave off the verbal caveats and qualifiers, such as “if you see what I mean”, as these undermine your communication (not to mention annoy D types).

Now you have this insight you can adapt your style to get the most out of working with each type of stakeholder. However, if you feel you would benefit from a deeper exploration of this, I offer DISC personality profiling to individuals and groups, as well as training on how to communicate effectively within teams and with stakeholders. Book a free discovery call to learn more.